To my new friends,
I just want to tell you a little bit about myself and some experiences I have been through. I am an outgoing and loving mom of two, a wife, a friend to many, and a believer in miracles. I love to make people laugh and am kind of quirky at times. I love to workout, I have a fascination with Grumpy Cat, I have a bad habit of drinking too much diet coke, & you can trust me with any secret, because more than likely I will forget it in about the next five minutes.
On a more serious note, I am also an eating disorder survivor and I know what it is like first hand, to struggle with anxiety, depression, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. However, when I tell people that for the first time, I always get a look of confusion and disbelief. That look of confusion is just further representation, that mental illness comes in all forms, shapes, personalities, and sizes.
In 2011 when I was pregnant with my first, I was diagnosed with OCD and I honestly thought I would never be the same again. The once spunky, confident, and outgoing cheerleader that I once was, was now almost just a shell left of that person. My OCD was so bad, it became hard to even focus when people would try to have a conversation with me. I was so stuck in my own head and in my own thoughts, that even though I was there in person, I was mentally stuck in my own personal hell.
Although I was estatic about being pregnant, it was one of the darkest and scariest moments of my life thus far. I made a pact with myself and more importantly with God, that if I ever got through that experience, that I would share my story and help others know that they are not alone.
During that time, I purchased a copy of Shannon’s first book on his experience with OCD & then reached out to him on Facebook shortly after. He was a great source strength and support, and just knowing that he understood what I was going through gave me courage to get better.
Since that first email we have been friends ever since, and I feel honored that he chose me to be a part of his website. Together, we are on a crusade to bring awareness to this debilitating and often times completely misunderstood disease.
He has helped so many people and I hope that my story will do the same. I hope that my story may give hope, even when all hope might feel permanently lost.
Random Thoughts For the Day & What Have You 🙂
May 18th, 2016
Less anxiety. Less obsessive thoughts. Less depression. If you remember this one simple thing. ❤️
May 17th, 2016
Even though you might feel like you have recovered from the worst of your anxiety or OCD, it can come back with a vengeance. A vengeance so strong, the only way to explain it to someone without this disorder, is to compare the anxiety you might feel, to someone having a knife to your throat.
Yes—it really is that scary and that debilitating. And no, I am not being extreme when describing these feelings (my feelings). It truly does feel that way. But it doesn’t go away, sometimes for hours, days, or weeks. So it’s as if you are standing there just waiting and anticipating for the worst to happen.
For those that might feel this way today, just know that you aren’t alone. We must fight through and sit with the anxiety. It is only through that, that we are able to decrease the anxiety. We will actually habituate ourselves to the anxious feelings in the process. But it is the process that feels impossible. But I know from experience it is not, and am personally trusting in that truth today.
May 16th, 2016
STRIPPED. No makeup, No Filter, Greasy Face, BedHead…Just some permanent eyeliner from 2011 & a great set of extensions that I just put back in last night,lol.wink emoticon & oh some good lighting next to the window! My sweet SIL and I, were discussing an awesome article she shared this morning. The tile is “To The Mom Who Forgot Herself”, and the writer talks about how important it is for mothers to realize it is okay to have dreams, and okay to take care of themselves too. In fact it isn’t just okay, it is imperative.
Children NEED to see their mothers love themselves & truly be happy. Our daughters especially, need to see that their mommas are confident and strong women.
Posting this picture below in all of my morning glory might not have been that easy at one time. But honestly not anymore– I know I am not perfect, and I love makeup and filters as much as the next girl– but this is ME. And I love the reflection staring back at me! It took many years, but I love that woman. She is strong, confident, caring, empathetic, and loving.
I know I preach 25/8 about women empowering women, but sometimes we forget to empower ourselves!!! Crazy right?! Sometimes we let our anxiety takeover, and we feel stuck, paralyzed, defeated…. If you are reading this, think about 5 things that you love about yourself right now. In fact, comment below and share one thing with me. It is amazing what happens when we focus on all of the things we love about ourselves, instead of all the things that we don’t. #TakeCareOfYou #LoveYOU#Itisntselfishbutmandatory <3
May 15th, 2016
If you are in the eye of the storm. Claw your way out. Dig your way out. Whatever you have to do to get out of the hell pit. I know anxiety & OCD can feel so real. And OCD wants you to feel like it’s real. It wants you to doubt everything about yourself and the world around you. You are bigger than this. You are NOT OCD, & OCD is NOT you. OCD wants to control you, but you have the power to control yourself. Don’t give into the compulsion. Don’t wash those hands raw until they bleed, don’t turn around to check if that pot hole you hit was actually a body, don’t go seeking reassurance from everyone you know, don’t go researching on the Internet for hours…that will only give OCD more power & add fuel to the fire. You don’t have to be perfect, so don’t hold yourself to a different standard than you would the stranger at the grocery store. I’m clawing myself put today.
Hold my hand and LET’S GO!!!
December 14th, 2015
As I was packing up some more boxes today, I found this picture…. I have kept it all these years, to remind myself of how far I have come. Looking at this automatically brings tears to my eyes. It is hard to believe that this picture was taken exactly 10 years ago this week, at the eating disorder facility I was in.
I’m not gonna lie, I find that during times of greater stress and especially during the holidays, it is challenging not to revert to old habits— but I am also thankful I have found a healthier alternative to coping and a lifestyle that keeps me accountable. I will NEVER go back.
November 14th, 2015
I normally don’t share things on my personal Facebook that I share in my challenge groups, but I think anyone can benefit from this one. So I went ahead and copied my post and put it below.
“So I want to talk a little bit about the mental side of this challenge. Now that we have gotten through almost an entire week of the meal plan and workouts, I would really like to divide our attention in this group to our emotions and how much they impact our overall health.
With Thanksgiving only a couple weeks away, this time of year can spark a variety of feelings for everyone. And not all of these feelings may be pleasant.
I have put a lot of thought into past holidays for me, and obviously some were better than others. I remember in college when my first wedding got called off. We were supposed to get married in October of 2005, and I had envisioned how fun Thanksgiving and Christmas would be as newlyweds.
When my fiance called everything off, a month and a half before, I was devastated. Crushed. Heartbroken. How could he do to this to me? Plane tickets were bought, the dress had been fitted, photographers and venues had been paid their deposits, and here I was left to pick up the pieces.
That was the beginning of a downward spiral where my eating disorder took center stage and my health plummeted. Needless to say, I was down to about 90 lbs and spent Thanksgiving in an eating disorder clinic where I was for the next two months.
I was scared, lonely, and lost. I felt like the only thing I could control (which was my eating or lack there of) was now being taken away from me, as everything was monitored. I couldn’t even go to the bathroom by myself without someone standing outside the door and couldn’t even flush the toilet until they double checked it first. Talk about humiliating.
Needless to say, that wasn’t my favorite holiday season. And the fact that it was the holidays and I should have been with my family the entire time and I was supposed to be married, just intensified my feelings of anxiety and depression.
I guess that is the point I am trying to make here. If things are going great in your life, then the holidays are usually approached with feelings of excitement and happiness. If things are not going so hot., because maybe you lost a loved one recently, maybe you are plagued with physical illness, maybe you are having financial difficulties, etc— then this time of year could just serve as a reminder of those things. Things that you have lost or things that you want so desperately. However, it doesn’t have to. You get to choose for yourself.
The reason I am sharing these personal things with you, is to let you know that things aren’t always what they seem. Maybe you look at someone and think they have it all together, or they have never struggled, but I can promise you that you are wrong. Everyone struggles. Everyone has been through those defining moments that shape them and make them who they are today.
One of my favorite quotes, is ‘Make your Mess Your Message.’
I read this article this morning on 20 Ways to Deal With Holiday Stress, and although I think all 20 are great tips, the very first one is my favorite.
Give Back… Something beautiful happens when we lose ourselves in service to others. There is something about helping another and making them feel good, that only brings back feelings of peace and contentment within.
I hope everyone can gather up the strength during this challenge, to make a conscious decision to enjoy the holidays. No matter what the circumstance. You deserve it… just as much as the next person.<3"
November 6th, 2015
TOO MUCH SUGAR!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Okay, I know I eat pretty healthy for the most part, and I do so not just for thy physical benefits, but it just helps me feel on top of my game.
However, my biggest weakness is SUGAR or fake sugar!!! (hellllo donuts & Diet Coke!) I am not a coffee drinker, so I gotta get my caffeine somewhere.
I read this article this morning and thought I would share. It might be time for some of us to re-evaluate if what we are eating is helping our anxiety or making it worse.
I think sometimes when we are stressed out, it is easy to reach for sugar and carbs– and sure it might sound good at the moment, but it will end up giving us a huge insulin dump and messing with our blood sugar levels.
So… just something to think about! I am doing our meal planning for next week and am really going to focus on the right kind of snacks to help me with those stressful moments!!
November 2nd, 2015
Okay you mommas and mommas to be!!!
This one is for you. ?
No one likes boring. Boring parents, boring friends, boring tv shows, boring jobs, boring spouses, or BORING kids.
November 1st, 2015
OCD/Anxiety Moment: ‘Trying to find that GOLDEN answer’
I received this private message from a beautiful postpartum momma of 2.
“I was reading your blog posts and you talk about ruminating, doubt, uncertainty and trying to find answers when there it none… These all hit so close to home for me.”
We continued to message back and forth, but I really want to focus just on her initial comment. The ruminating, uncertainty, and doubt.
When I was pregnant with my first, this was when my OCD was at it’s all time high. What many people don’t realize about OCD, is how much of it is completely hidden, internal, and private. For many sufferers, you will not see an outward compulsion. (For example hand washing, lock checking, etc.) But instead that compulsion is carried out 100% mentally.
I have gone through many phases in my life in regards to my OCD, but I would say 80% of my compulsions have been that of rumination. Searching deep in the walls of your mind, for that ONE correct answer, that ONE correct explanation, to make everything better and to make the anxiety go away.
It’s almost like searching for a penny in the Pacific Ocean. It’s impossible. No matter how hard you try, you will never find it. And even if you do, your mind will constantly doubt if that was the EXACT penny you lost in the first place. Was it yours? Was it someone else’s? What if it isn’t yours, how can you ever feel good about it? What if you are stealing something that belongs to someone else? Are you now a thief? But you KNOW it is your penny!
For people without OCD, they may wonder what in the hell I’m talking about, but for those of you with it, you know EXACTLY what I am talking about.
Listen, I used to spend HOURS, DAY’S, WEEKS, MONTHS, trying to quote ‘figure things out’ in my head. Trying to find answers to things, I would NEVER find out and honestly DID NOT MATTER in the first place.
Well, what did that person at the post office say under his breath? I need to know? What if it effects my livlihood, the safety of my family? But who was that person? I don’t even know what they look like? How do I find them to ask them what they said? What if it was something I need to know or they are going to come burn my house down? But what if they think I am crazy for asking them this?
LISTEN. STOP. Stop right now. You can’t win with OCD. You will NEVER win with OCD. It doesn’t matter. And even if you find an answer you like or your anxiety is ok with, there will be something else. There always is. Your mind will always ALWAYS find something to focus on next. There will always be that next scenario.
The more you feed into it, the worse you are making it.
Listen, I get it. It’s so hard. This is what your brain wants to do, but you have to get in control. You have to take the steering wheel, before OCD takes control of you.
It will be gut wrenching, there will be tears, panic attacks, days where you feel like you just can’t do it anymore, but YOU can.
Do yourself a favor and fight back. Give it everything you’ve got.
You can either beat this or be a slave to it. Which is it going to be? I chose to beat it.
Yes, I still might have a hard day every now and then, but I will take one bad day every 6 months or so, then every single hour of every single day, feeling like I am in my own personal hell.
But it wasn’t easy to get to the point where I am now. I had to fight. And to fight effectively, you have to have a game plan.
So what is YOUR game plan?
My game plan is simple and it never changes…
There are THREE essentials.
1) Sleep (you have GOT to get enough sleep so your mind can be as clear as possible.)
2) Sunshine (You have GOT to get out of your bed, out of your room, and out of your house. Even if you just go sit in your yard for ten minutes. Do it.)
3) Exercise (Get moving. I know you don’t feel like it. I know you are anxious and miserable, but if you want some FREE endorphins for your brain and your mood. That even medication can’t provide. DO IT.)
Decide today how you are going to handle your anxiety. You have a choice. You may not feel like it, but you ALWAYS have a choice.
It’s a beautiful thing, having the right to choose how you feel. Don’t let your anxiety choose for you. 🙂
October 27th, 2015
Holidays are magical, but for many people can cause ANXIETY, LONELINESS, FINANCIAL STRESS, DEPRESSION, FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY, & HEARTACHE.
In 5 days Halloween will be over & the Christmas music will start.
Join me & my team for some Pre-Holiday Happiness in our exclusive Fit Club, during the month of November. We will get you ready to face the next couple of months and we will start from the INSIDE- OUT.
Here is what you will get:
*Audio Version or Paperback version of the book “You Are a Badass”
*Simple Meal Plans.
*Thirty Minute Workouts.
*30 Day Supply of Shakeology with all the superfoods you need.
*One on One Virtual Coaching for your fitness goals.
*Support & Accountability.
*Daily discussion on our personal development.
*Tips on how to mentally prepare & cope through the holidays.
*Increased confidence & friendships.
I am ready to help 10 people, that are committed, focused, and ready to make a positive change.
If this sounds like something you are interested in knowing more about, here is what to do next! 🙂
October 21st, 2015
So, you beat to your own drum… now what?
Here is the thing guys, OWN IT. We are living in a world, where everyone is trying to keep up with the Jones’s.
Who cares?? Be you! Be weird. Be confident and own it.
I promise you, there are 5 trillion other people, but there is only 1 of you.
You get to a certain point in life, where you just don’t care. Not that you don’t care about others, because believe me, you do… but you also care about YOU.
You care about what makes you happy, especially in a world of trying to constantly please others and keep up with Sally and Samuel.
So do you. Be you. Own it. Own your weridness, your quirks, and your originality.
There is no greater gift, than that of learning to love yourself. <3
October 20th, 2015
I wish I could put into words, what the friendships I have made though this page mean to me.
It’s funny how there are billions of people in this world, but certain people come into your life out of nowhere and you think to yourself, “How did I not know this person before? They just get me and I get them?”
So to you special people that I have gotten to know the last few months, thank you. Thank you for sharing your struggles with me, your trials, your strengths, your life. Being an advocate for mental health and in particular OCD, eating disorders, and anxiety, I get to help lend support with my story and ways I have overcome these trials in my own life.
But the thing is… doing that is so theraputic for me. Even though you may feel like things will never get better, and you are stuck in some vicious cycle, I can see changes happening in you before my eyes.
The fact that you keep pushing through the pain, even though it hurts too much. The fact that you truly are trying to get better, even when taking a shower seems almost like an impossible task. The fact that when I have the chance to speak one one on with so many of you, that you bless my life without even knowing it.
So keep trying. Keeping pushing through. Keep smiling, even when you don’t want to. Keep on keeping on, because I promise you it DOES and WILL get better. The only constant thing in life is change. Things can’t always stay the same way, good or bad.
There will be a day when you will feel like you aren’t just existing anymore and actually enjoy your life. Every part of it. There will be a day that you will welcome these trials and challenges, because of the strength it gives you afterward.
You are stronger than you know. Don’t be a victim. Don’t just roll over and throw your hands up. Keep going. Keep fighting. Show your life who is boss.
You are in charge of you. And YOU can DO THIS.
YOU are amazing. Every part of you. Every flaw and every quirk.
So stop beating yourself up, and move forward.
September 28th, 2015
Listen…I know sometimes the anxiety feels like more than you can bear.
I know it feels like you are trapped in your own personal hell and that no one understands.
That no one understands the pain, the guilt, the worry, the constant looping of your mind. But I do.
You are tired. You are exhausted from trying to figure things out. I understand. I feel for you. I hurt for you. And you are never alone.
I get it. Trust me. I get it and experience it more than you know.
That’s why we gotta fight back. Don’t let OCD take over your life. Don’t let OCD rob you of the joy that you so deserve.
Keep pushing through. Sit with the uncertainty and fight like hell.
If you try to do it today, I will too. Hold my hand. And let’s go.
September 25th, 2015
I’m going to get REALLY REAL for a minute….
I’ll be honest, even though the title of my Facebook page is called ‘Anxiously Fit’, sometimes I forget the real reason I have that as my title.
Not only do I suffer from a severe anxiety disorder, I live daily with Obsessive Compulsive Order & it flat out sucks. The good news is, I have it under control 95% of the time, which is freaking awesome and shows me how far I have truly come.
The bad news is, the 5% when I am reminded that I still have it, is terrifying, miserable, and a constant state of panic. The kind of panic where you can’t breathe, you hyperventilate, your face gets flushed, your palms get sweaty, you can’t stop crying, you are scared, feel helpless, and you get knocked down on your face.
Bottom line, sometimes even the ‘helper’ needs help. Yes, I feel very fortunate to be where I am at in my own recovery, but I occasionally still have bad days where my anxiety is almost more than I can handle. Days where it is hard to take even my own advice and put all of my techniques I have learned over the years into play.
It is times like that where I feel like a hypocrite, because in that 5% of time, I can’t even see straight, let alone do anything I tell other people to do that are struggling.
So I want YOU to know this, whoever you are. No one is perfect, and no one has a ‘perfect’ recovery. No one expects you to be perfect, except for YOU. We are our own worst enemies. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Stop beating yourself up.
Yea, you might think it’s easy for me to say this, because maybe you don’t think I struggle with anxiety or OCD anymore. Well, you are wrong. I do. I am telling you that I do. But I am also telling you, like I am telling myself, to tell anxiety to back the hell off.
I am telling you and I am telling myself, that today is a new day. That we need to be grateful, that we need to ease up on ourselves, that we need to dust ourselves off, and fight back.
Today is NOT the day to give up. And guess what, tomorrow won’t be either.
Worrying about whatever it is you are worrying about or trying to solve in your head, will get you NOWHERE. As someone who lives with OCD, the constant worry and rumination becomes a job. Like we have to do it, to fix whatever it is we are obsessing about.
It won’t fix anything. It won’t solve anything. It won’t change anything. In fact, everything will stay EXACTLY the same. The world will go on, the day will go on, and you will be stuck. Mentally stuck in your own personal hell. You will be exhausted by all of your efforts to make things better- but you are only making things worse.
Get over it.
You are not accomplishing anything, but making your anxiety worse.
Get out of bed. Get moving. Take a walk. Workout. Take a shower. Get out of the house. Call a friend. Get out of your head. Get on with your life.
If you will do, then I will too. Who is with me?
(P.S. Thank you Shannon, for not only being a great voice of reason and someone I can trust, but thank you for being a wonderful friend. I am honored to be on a crusade to educate and help others about OCD.)
September 21st, 2015
Rule #1…..never miss a Monday. EVER.
I hate getting up early, but Heaven knows on Monday mornings, if I don’t get up before my kids at 5:45 am then my entire day will be a mad dash of stress. My anxiety levels will be high and basically I will be a hot mess. So in other words, losing that extra hour of sleep is a non-negotiable in my world, so I can get up and be productive instead.
Do it for you. Get up an hour earlier, to live an hour more. Get your workout in, plan your day, and treat this as your ‘me’ time and set the tone for your entire week.
Some people may think I am strange, but I love making to do lists. I stayed up an extra thirty minutes last night and got ‘list wasted.’ I am happy to say, I have already checked like 7 things off and it’s not even 7:30 am yet. (Including a super fun call to Comcast to fix our internet at 6 am)
September 18th, 2015
MY OCD STATEGY:
I have received a couple of requests, on what my method/strategy was when dealing with OCD thoughts.
I don’t know if this will be any more helpful than what I have said in the past, but there just really isn’t too much to it.
That’s the thing, all OCD thoughts are usually very complex. Thousands of what if scenarios, What if I left the stove on? What if it causes a fire? What if it catches my neighbors house on fire? What if they are home and their fire alarm isn’t working? What if there are kids in the home? And it goes on, and on, and on, and on, …..
So naturally, it only makes sense that my method to deal with all of these anxious thoughts and scenarios is very simple. The minute you start creating loopholes/rules for trying to figure things out, you aren’t helping the situation get better, but only adding fuel to the fire.
Keep it simple. Recognize how you feel every time when you are having an OCD episode. Pay attention to your physical cues, sweaty palms, rapid heart rate, nauseous stomach, flushed face, etc.
Then recognize the mental, the loopholes, the never-ending you can’t win every five seconds, the desperation, the what if I am wrong this time, all of that LOUD MENTAL NOISE.
That is OCD. No matter what the thought, no matter what the circumstance, it is OCD. So stop trying to complicate matters, and treat it all the same.
You have to literally flip a mental switch and just say- you know what? I don’t care! This is OCD, this is NOT reality, and MOVE ON.
That’s it. Yes, it takes time, but you have to stop trying to outsmart, or out think OCD. You can’t out think your own mind, you just literally have to BEAT your own mind, throw your hands up, and move the hell on.
Once you do that, something magical happens, and you forget what you were even thinking about in the first place.
If I can do it, so can you.
September 2nd, 2015
Why so often, do we let our own FEAR & INSECURITIES, paralyze us? Why do we let all the outside noise and naysayers, determine our success or lack there of?
Here is what I can say to you, STOP. Stop being the ONLY thing standing in your own way. Get over it and move. Move somewhere, but don’t stay stuck in the same place.
I have noticed more in the last few months, I think than ever in my life, that if you want something (no matter what it is) then by gosh, GO FOR IT! And when you REALLY 110% start to go for it, it is honestly amazing when things start to REALLY happen!!!! It is almost magical!
Why should anyone just sit there and think to themselves “Man, I wish I could be like so and so, or be in shape like so and so, or get that promotion, or live that lifestyle, or I want to do such and such, but what will people say about me or think about me?”
Again, STOP. Stop comparing yourself to someone else first of all. Don’t compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter 20. And two, if you want something different for your life, what is REALLY stopping you? Go out and make it happen.
If there is a will there is a way. You are capable of far more than you think. If you are depressed, go see a doctor. If you hate your job, find a new one. If you don’t like your body, change it.
We need to stop wishing for things and start working for them.
Don’t get in your own way.
Be a BOSS and get things done!!!!
August 21st, 2015
I get messages all the time, with people asking me HOW I did it. How did I get to a point in my life where OCD is basically non-existent, how did I pull out of the depression, how did I overcome my eating disorder, how did I find the courage?
Well I guess in some ways, the answer was simple. Obviously not at first, because it took many years to get to the point where I am now, but it all changed when I became a mother. At that point in my life I had overcome my eating disorder, because I knew I wanted to have kids and that I had to be healed of that before I would bring them into this world.
When I was pregnant with my first I went into a dark depression, because OCD was completely consuming me. I wasn’t sleeping and could barely function. It was even more frustrating, because I was so excited to be pregnant, but just absolutely miserable inside. All I wanted was to enjoy this time in our lives and prepare for the arrival of our first baby.
However, instead I was breaking down inside. That was when it became simple I guess. I had no other choice but to get better. My husband depended on me, the little baby inside of me depended on me, and I couldn’t just roll over and give up. There was only one option and that was to get my crap together. My emotional crap…
I knew whatever was going on (I hadn’t been diagnosed with OCD at this point) was beyond my control and had to be something other than just depression, hormones, or anxiety. Once I made that step to go get specialized care for a few days, see a team of Doctors, that was when my life began to change. You see it’s really hard to fix a problem, if you don’t even know what the problem is in the first place.
So once I finally had a doctor that got it right, that knew there was a text book explanation for what I was going through, that was the start of the rest of my life. Was it easy? No! It was hard as hell. But I remember him handing me a stack of papers all about OCD and what it was and I just sat there with my jaw dropped. Wait, this is a real thing? Like this is a disease and I have this? Other people have this just like me? OCD isn’t just about compulsively washing your hands or organizing hangers? There is more to it?
I was just in shock. In a good way. 🙂 It was such a sigh of relief to know that this was an actual ‘diagnosis’ and if it was, then there had to be an actual ‘treatment’ to get better. So from that day forward, I fought, and fought, and fought, and fought. I started seeing a therapist once a week and learned coping mechanisms and how to separate myself from the OCD thoughts.
Yes, there were still days that I cried or was so anxious I couldn’t stand it, but I kept going. I didn’t give up. I kept trying and I kept picking myself back up. Before I knew it two months had passed by since that initial hospital stay, and then I had a beautiful baby boy in my arms. He & my husband were my reasons to keep finding the courage to move forward.
I had always wanted to be a mother and I wasn’t going to let OCD take that away from me. I wanted to be present, in the moment, with my family, and happy. I didn’t want to be in the moment and not be able to enjoy it like most of my pregnancy had been. I wanted to soak in every second of it in.
So there you go. The process wasn’t simple, but my reasons for getting better were. So any day that was particularly challenging, I just had to get my mind in the right place and keep my perspective on my goals. My goals were my family and my happiness. So I have done that every day since, and here I am. Over time it continued to get easier, and easier, and easier. That beautiful baby boy is now starting pre-school on Monday and we have a beautiful 10 month old girl that I gave birth to last October.
Listen, you can do this. If I can do this… you definitely can do this. Keep your eye on the goal and DON”T STOP. <3 xoxo, Lyndsee
August 17th, 2015
WHO NEEDS MONDAY MOTIVATION?!?
I shared this on my Facebook page ‘Anxiously Fit’ and wanted to share it here as well. This video always gets my mind in the right place. 😉
Remember when you really want something, you have to be RELENTLESS & FIGHT.
You can do this…You are stronger than you think.
My hope for each of you, is that you will once realize that your darkest and hardest moments, are actually the ones that you wouldn’t trade for the world.
I thank God every day for mine, because they have shaped me into who I am today. Because the person I was before those trials, wouldn’t be strong enough to have created this page and publicly air my struggles.
Make your MESS, your MESSAGE. Happy Monday everyone. It’s a new day. A new chance to start fresh. Remember that. <3
August 4th, 2015
I wanted to share with you all a blog post I wrote back in January.
You are not alone…We are in this together. <3 http://buildyourbodytofuelyoursoul.blogspot.com/2015/01/so-what-is-ocd-like-for-you-anyway.html
July 31st, 2015
I love this! We all fail. Failing is part of the process. If we don’t screw up, then we aren’t learning.
So the more you fail at something, it means the more you are trying, the more you try, means you will only get better.
So dust yourself off, and take failure in stride. It’s not such a bad thing.
So go out and fail at something today!
July 30th, 2015
Some times you have to just take a step back, look around, & breathe. Life gets hectic, schedules get busy, we don’t check off everything on a growing to do list.
No wonder it’s easy to feel like we can’t get it all done, and constantly fall short.
In the grand scheme of life, dirty dishes don’t matter. To do lists don’t matter. How we treat others and ourselves matter. Be grateful. Relax. Stop thinking you’re a failure. Stop worrying. You don’t have to be perfect.
July 29th, 2015
So here’s the deal… You don’t have to eat lettuce and kale for every meal. One of the reasons I do eat clean 90% of every day and workout, is so I can indulge. There is nothing wrong with having a donut and soda here and there or going out to a restaurant and getting french fries as a side with your meal.
It is all about moderation, portion control, and eating smart. If you know you have a big event coming up on a Friday night, plan accordingly. Bank up your calories as I like to call it, and maybe get in an extra twenty minutes of cardio.
You don’t have to deprive yourself of the things you love the most. First of all, that is no way to live and if you do deprive yourself, you will probably end up pigging out later.
I went so many years restricting every calorie, every fat gram, and completely cutting out all of my ‘fear foods’ because of my eating disorder. Not only was I completely malnutrition-ed, but I was miserable and unhappy. I just wanted to have a healthy relationship with food like everyone else. I wanted to enjoy something I loved without feeling the massive guilt and punishing myself later.
Love your body and love yourself. Keep things in moderation, stay active, and eat clean the majority of the day. If you want to have that brownie on a Saturday night, do it… just don’t eat the whole pan!!!
July 28th, 2015
I WANT TO HEAR FROM EACH OF YOU!!!!
I am a mom that wears many hats and has had many issues throughout her life. (unfortunately) haha, 😉
I decided to join Shannon on his website, to help each of you on your journey…whatever that may be.
So let me know HOW I can help you. What kinds of things do you want me to talk about?
Would you like more posts on how I overcame my eating disorder? How I deal with my anxiety? What kinds of things I struggled with from my OCD & how I got it to where it is basically non-existent? Recipes? Fitness tips? How to overcome depression? How I juggle being a mom and work from home??
You name it and you will get it.
If you type in Anxiously Fit into the Facebook search bar, it should bring up my page and you can send me an email there! I would love to hear from each of you. 🙂
July 23rd, 2015
HOW TO HANDLE THE DAYS WHEN YOU HAVE OCD SETBACKS:
I’ll be honest..I really don’t even feel like writing right now, but because I feel that way it probably means I need to even more.
When you get to a point where you have learned to control your anxiety & more importantly control your OCD– even to the point of feeling like you are 100% cured, you may have a day where you are reminded that a tiny piece of it is still around. And that tiny piece comes and slaps you in the face.
Case in point. Me. Today. I notice that on the days when I do have a set back, which are extremely few and far between, it is usually due to one main factor… SLEEP, or lack thereof.
I have always said that the three keys to mental happiness for anyone, are SLEEP, SUNSHINE, & EXERCISE. Even though I definitely have not gotten enough sleep lately, especially last night, I woke up feeling completely anxious. So I thought about the things I could control.
#1) I could workout and get moving. So even though I was completely exhausted, I made sure to do thirty minutes of total body cardio first thing this morning.
#2) Sunshine. I got everyone ready and we got out of the house.
Although, both of those helped…1 of the 3 keys was still missing and wasn’t going to happen until I went to bed tonight. When I get ‘over’ tired, it is harder to put all those things into practice that I have learned over the years. How to stop OCD thoughts from snowballing and taking center stage. How to just let things be, not mentally ruminate over and over again, until it feels right and I can decrease the anxiety.
The kind of day where your chest gets tight, your face gets flushed, and you can barely breathe kind of day.
I guess what I am getting ready to say, I need to hear it maybe just as much as some of you. We don’t have to be perfect. You may have set-backs, and that is when we need to dust ourselves off and keep going. Even if you don’t feel like it, even if the anxiety is too much and you just want to find a hole and hide in it, keep going. Push through and ignore any negative thoughts. Separate yourself from OCD and cut yourself some slack.
We are all going to have off days. It doesn’t mean it will stay like that forever, and it doesn’t mean the anxiety will always be that intense. You can do it and so can I.
Anyone else having an off day?
July 22nd, 2015
Last week, one of my favorite moments was hearing a speaker by the name of Dewitt Jones. He is a National Geographic photographer, and honestly quite brilliant in my opinion. He spoke on perspective and vision, not only from a photographer’s standpoint, but just a ‘LIFE’ standpoint.
He talked about focusing on the extraordinary vision. Be open to all the possibilities in your life. Stop focusing on the negative and celebrate that which is positive. Truly find the good in things, and in each other. Don’t try and be the best IN the world, but try and be the best FOR the world.
The most profound statement that he made was this…
“The purpose of life is found in one breath – take it all in. Give it all back.”
Take in the beauty around you, take in the life experiences and lessons, learn from your trials, grow as a person into the best version of yourself, take a deep breath, and then give it back ten fold. Give it to the stranger on the street, to your son or daughter, to your best friend. Give it all back. Every bit of it.
July 21st, 2015
Do you ever come back from a trip or an event and feel completely rejuvenated? Refreshed? Re-energized?
I just got back from almost five days (kid free) at Beachbody Summit in Nashville, and also from seeing some of my family that lives there.
I can’t even tell you how much I needed that. I LOVE being a momma, and I missed my kids something FIERCE, but sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes the stress of caring for two little people, a husband, keeping up a house, laundry, dishes, working from home, potty training, teething, it can all be slightly overwhelming and exhausting.
It was such a nice opportunity for me to reconnect with myself and work on becoming a better person. Because honestly, that is what I did. That is why I love this company…they truly want each one of us to become the best versions of ourselves. Not just on the outside and being healthy, but starting from the inside.
I learned about how to better my relationship with my spouse from none other than Chalene Johnson, how to make my WHY become bigger than my fear, how to empower others, and how life is about truly finding the next right answer. So many things begin to change in our lives, when we come at it from the idea that there is more than one right answer.
Once we stop focusing on what is WRONG with a situation and instead focus on and celebrate what is RIGHT, things truly start to fall into place.
I was reminded once again, that everything that has happened TO ME, has happened FOR ME. Every tear, every battle with OCD, every day locked in my room my freshmen year of college when the depression was so great I couldn’t even go to class, every time I starved myself…it was ALL for my good.
You see we don’t really learn in the good times. We learn after we go through something that truly teaches us. Something that challenges us and makes us dig deep. Those are the times we should really be grateful for.
I know it is hard if you are currently down in the trenches right now, I do…I promise, I have been there. I know when I am going through a trial it is hard to be thankful in that moment that I am suffering.
But just know that one day you will get through it and you will learn a valuable lesson. It will make you a stronger person and give you tools that you could have never received any other way. Your heart will be opened to help other people and your empathy will grow ten fold.
You can do hard things. Take a minute to take a deep breathe and thank God for your trials. You got this!!!!
July 15th, 2015
Since most of you that will be following my section are women and mothers, I am sure you will be able to relate to everything I am about to say. Today has been an absolute DISASTER. Hands down. D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.
My stress is through the roof, my anxiety is on another planet, and I just feel like I can’t even keep up with my own life. Does anyone else ever feel like that? That you can’t say NO to anything, always bite off more than you can chew, and just feel like a big ‘ol failure?!
Well, sorry to be a Negative Nancy, but I am having one of those days. The kind of day where the house is a mess, the kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes, laundry everywhere, I am supposed to be packing for a trip, and here I am sitting in a pile of my own tears.
Am I unhappy overall because of this?? NO. Absolutely not. You see a few years ago, I would have never been where I am even right now. A few years ago, I could barely get up and take a shower, let alone be a mom, work full time from home, help an awesome author with his website, have two kids, babysit another twice a week, etc, etc, etc, etc… You get the idea.
When you are truly depressed and down in the dumps, you can’t do or agree to do, JACK FREAKING SQUAT. So the fact that I am in this position today, just shows how far I have come emotionally. And the fact that I am writing this blog and taking some time to breathe, has to mean something as well. Heck, it means EVERYTHING.
Three years ago I honestly did not want to live. I had every reason to live and that is why I kicked my own butt and got help. I KNEW I had to dig deep, because I was NOT going to let OCD, Depression, and Anxiety ruin my life. Not for me, and not for my husband, my parents, or my unborn children.
So fast forward TODAY, I am in probably in the most exciting & happy phase of my life thus far.
“I am who I am today, because I FOUGHT TO BE HER.” And I truly did fight. Harder than I have ever fought for anything in my entire life. Fighting for your will to live is no joke.
I am happily married. I have two beautiful children. I have a job that I am truly so passionate about. Parents that are simply irrecpalceable and have made me everything that I am. Knowledge that God loves me.
Simply said. Life is great.
The fact that I can worry about real life day to day issues, the little things, (and you OCD people know what I am talking about) instead of worrying about made up scenarios in my head?? That is HUGE. You see I am in the here and now, not worrying about the past, and not worrying about the future.
So with that, I know for a fact that I am NOT a failure. That I just have to keep on keeping on. That some days I won’ t accomplish everything on my to-do list that is a mile long, and that’s okay. I don’t have to be perfect. I just have to keep trying. I just have to keep going. I just have to be the best mom and wife that I know how to be… and everything else will fall into place.
So let me tell you this, while I tell myself and take a few deep breaths.
YOU ARE ENOUGH. WE ARE ENOUGH.
That’s it. Simple, true, and fact.